#1 humor site on the 'net

Awesome 'P' Door

Six, Upside Down and Turned Around

Awesome 'P' Door thanks to Irma Burgess

QuotaBills
Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

A window of opportunity won't open itself. - Dave Weinbaum

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

Monarchy: Used to open doors in a Royal Palace. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. - Emily Dickinson

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. - Sydney J. Harris

Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. - Benjamin Franklin

The door of opportunity won't open unless you do some pushing. - Unknown

Window: 1. A looking-out glass; 2. Place in the truck to hang your guns. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you ask "What if..." you open the door to all your options. - Unknown

I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset, my diet goes out the window. - Kelly Osbourne

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. - Saul Bellow

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

I like holding the door for people who are far away, so they have to run a little. - Bill Murray

If a door slams shut it means that God is pointing to an open door further on down. - Anna Delaney Peale

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

If quantum mechanics hasn't profoundly shocked you, you haven't understood it yet. - Niels Bohr

Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened. - Charles H Spurgeon

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Designer Lamp

Long Winter

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

New 50 Pence Coin

Truck Art

Redneck Chair Repair

Bus Head Rest

How Big Was It?

Islanders

Extra Weight

Snowgazers

Happy Australia Day!

Starting Your Fireplace On The Roof

Snow Prayers

Snowbaru

Mirror Image

Hurricane Protection

Spot the Thief

Firm Egg

Winter Chair

Storage Puzzle

Training Wheels

School Nap