#1 humor site on the 'net

Wrong Planet

You're not Fat: 100 kg on Earth = 37 kg on Mars

Wrong Planet thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The dieting wars have got to stop. - Lady Gaga

Every day above earth is a good day. - Ernest Hemingway

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

The 'Earth' without art is just 'eh'. - Unknown

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary. - Lou Holtz

I am one of the most sensitive human beings on earth, and I know it. - Jean-Claude Van Damme

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

Perhaps all artists were, in a sense, housewives: tenders of the earth household. - Erica Jong

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

George Steinbrenner is the salt of the earth, and the Yankee players are open wounds. - Scott Osler

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." - Steven Wright

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Do not give in too much to feelings. An overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

What was most significant about the lunar voyage was not that men set foot on the moon but that they set eye on the earth. - Norman Cousins

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright


Music Illusion

New Fuel Gauge

Treescape

Diamond Ring TP

Treadmill Workout

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta

Tiring Tire

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Water Skiing in Russia

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Spot the Snow Leopard

Open Too Long

Rap Is Like Scissors