Wrong Planet

A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

He goes through groceries like an earth remover. - Archie Bunker

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth - Lao-tzu

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

The earth has its music for those who will listen. - George Santayana

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell? - William Shakespeare

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

America forms the longest and straightest bone in the earth's skeleton. - Ellsworth Huntington

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

The service we render to others is really the rent we pay for our room on this earth. - Wilfred Grenfell

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steroids. - Milton Berle

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The Lord hath created medicines out of the earth; and he that is wise will not abhor them. - The Bible

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

Earth's the right place for love: I don’t know where it's likely to go better. - Robert Frost

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Here is a test to find out whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn't. - Richard Bach

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon