What Do You Want For Christmas?

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck

Adults are just outdated children. - Dr. Seuss

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children. - Jim Henson

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales. - Albert Einstein

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey