QuotaBillsSanta's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
Children need models rather than critics. - Joseph Joubert
Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown
Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be. - Eric Micha'el Leventhal
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children. - George Burns
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass
Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us. - Stephen Colbert
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck
Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus
Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley
Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. - Unknown
The affection you get back from children is sixpence given as change for a sovereign. - Edith Nesbit
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. - Hodding S. Carter
Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. - H. Jackson Brown
Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey
A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker
I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor
The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump
Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori
If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter
Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the destinies of their children, grandchildren, and every generation that follows. - Mark Batterson
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller
If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah