What Do You Want For Christmas?

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Old men are children for a second time. - Aristophanes

I preferred sewing to bossing little children. - Martha Jones

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Little children, little sorrows; big children, great sorrows. - Danish Proverb

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children. - Doris Day

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young. - Donald Trump

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

What can we make of the inexpressible joy of children? It is a kind of gratitude. - Annie Dillard

Nature reserves the right to inflict upon her children the most terrifying jests. - Thornton Wilder

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

Whatever happened to a sense of idealism and embracing an idea that will help people and, in this case, children? - Rod Blagojevich

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

We've got to work to save our children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it. - Dorothy Height

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer