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What Do You Want For Christmas?

Now that I have your complete attention...

What Do You Want For Christmas? thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck

Adults are just outdated children. - Dr. Seuss

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children. - Jim Henson

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales. - Albert Einstein

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


Geeks On Display

Smores Level Expert

Saskatchewan Freeway

Lost Cat

Trudeau Masterpiece

Circumcision

Vegan Wisdom

Sharp Sign

Pulled You Over

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards

Leaf Edge

Windmill Guitar

Redneck Shave

Coffee Grinds

Legal Exhibit

Cattle Breeding

Study to Fail

Light Bulb

Lifeguard Distancing

Giant Grasshopper

Horse Hearse

Train Boat

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Canned Art