What Do You Want For Christmas?

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Adults are just outdated children. - Dr. Seuss

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A nation that does not stand for its children does not stand for anything and will not stand tall in the future. - Marian W Edelman

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey