What Do You Want For Christmas?

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Time is a game played beautifully by children. - Heraclitus

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Little children, little sorrows; big children, great sorrows. - Danish Proverb

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be. - Carol Coats

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah