#1 humor site on the 'net

Spotted Clark Griswold

Clark Griswold plans for an even bigger family Christmas this year

Spotted Clark Griswold thanks to keith blak

QuotaBills
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Mothers are like glue, Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together. - Susan Gale

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey

It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy. - Nicolas Cage

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


Chicken Rider

ManHole

Hurricane Irene

Day At The Beach

Luxury Bungalows

Baby Brew

Kids Klub

Sheep Dog Distancing

Candy Hairess

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Bag Hang-Up

Dog Spa

Pacman Skeleton

Young Rock Star

Shoplifter Warning

Eavestrough Cat

Bobbie Tickle

Exhausting or Amewzing?

World's First Hard Hat

Cup on the Edge

British Gas Meter

Hot Summer Days

Senior Protesters

Microsoft Software Upgrade