QuotaBillsBirth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker
Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold
Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer
A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens
So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien
If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha
Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin
Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker
Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox
The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood
As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare
Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown
It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell
I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers
One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall
A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump
The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein
I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen
The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood
Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown
The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson
The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough
One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf
No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay
The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle
Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung
Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds