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Shower Bar

On Doctor's Orders

Yesterday I had my annual medical checkup. The Doctor said that, at my age, I should have a bar in the shower. So I took his advice.
Shower Bar thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor


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