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Shower Bar

On Doctor's Orders

Yesterday I had my annual medical checkup. The Doctor said that, at my age, I should have a bar in the shower. So I took his advice.
Shower Bar thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Cranberries: Grapes with hypertension - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


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