Say No To Gasoline

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypocrisy is the most obvious of sins. - John McCain

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up. - George Saunders

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

Two fundamental literary qualities: supernaturalism and irony. - Charles Baudelaire

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed. - Frederick Douglass

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Irony is the form of paradox. Paradox is what is good and great at the same time. - Karl W F Schlegel

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Instagram is not a place for tone or irony... (she obviously hasn't been to #joekstergram) - Mary H K Choi

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

True kitsch has nothing to do with irony. It's very honest. It represents what people like, their dreams. - Marcel Wanders

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

The great thing about irony is that it splits things apart, gets up above them so we can see the flaws and hypocrisies and duplicates. - David F Wallace

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz