Say No To Gasoline

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypocrisy is the most obvious of sins. - John McCain

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy. - Ambrose Bierce

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer

Irony regards every simple truth as a challenge. - Mason Cooley

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Humour and irony include tragedy; they're two sides of the same coin. - Maurizio Cattelan

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Irony is the form of paradox. Paradox is what is good and great at the same time. - Karl W F Schlegel

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Clap an extinguisher upon your irony if you are unhappily blessed with a vein of it. - Charles Lamb

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

The first virtue of all really great men is that they are sincere. They eradicate hypocrisy from their hearts. - Anotole France

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

The great thing about irony is that it splits things apart, gets up above them so we can see the flaws and hypocrisies and duplicates. - David F Wallace

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz