Say No To Gasoline

Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypocrisy is the most obvious of sins. - John McCain

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy. - Ambrose Bierce

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Irony regards every simple truth as a challenge. - Mason Cooley

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive. - Robert A Heinlein

Irony became the head that bit its tail and then there is no way out. - Alejandro G Inarritu

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed. - Frederick Douglass

Current Events: 1. What an electrician worries about; 2. Electric shocks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Irony is the form of paradox. Paradox is what is good and great at the same time. - Karl W F Schlegel

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

Irony is a clear consciousness of an eternal agility, of the infinitely abundant chaos. - Karl W F Schlegel

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I find capitalism repugnant. It is filthy, it is gross, it is alienating... because it causes war, hypocrisy and competition. - Fidel Castro

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright