Santa Portrait

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Walk The Plank: A pirate's board game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not a pirate. I'm an innovator. - Ken Dotcom

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. - Unknown

If I had a pause button on my life, I would use it. - Jaycee Jay Anderson at the XXI 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

If you want to get my attention, wear a pirate outfit. - Michelle Branch

It's more fun to be a pirate than to join the Navy. - Steve Jobs

Mothers are like buttons. They hold everything together. - Unknown

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

My heart is small, like a love of buttons or black pepper. - S. Jane Sloat

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I'm getting on. I'm now equipped with a snooze button. - Denis Norden

A portrait is a picture in which there is something wrong with the mouth. - Eugene Speicher

It's supposed to be automatic, but actually you have to push this button. - John Brunner

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Life's pretty good, and why wouldn't it be? I'm a pirate, after all. - Johnny Depp

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

They say our mothers really know how to push our buttons - because they installed them. - Robin Williams

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. - Fred Willard

Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. - Oscar Wilde

I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate. - Todd Barry

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. - Mark Twain

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

A man never spoke ill of his captain, pirate or no, unless he was prepared to back his words with the might of the crew. - Matt Tomerlin

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck