#1 humor site on the 'net

Pelican Sunrise

Flying towards the start of a beautiful day

Pelican Sunrise thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. - French Proverb

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

He's better at smelling rotten eggs than at laying good ones. - Unknown

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. - H L Mencken

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Hens do cackle loudest when there's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid. - Ambrose Bierce

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor


Grouchy German

Knock Hard

Economy Flight Plan

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Canadian Car Crash

Recipe Holder

Seuss Army Knife

Dustpan Waterfall

Pita Pan

Drum Kit Chandelier

TP Roll Art

Shark Circles

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Stairway Chute

Run Down Apartments

Your Fly Is Down

Employee Factory - Join The Crowd!

Moonshiners

How Did They Get There?

Dent Wizard

Painted Fence

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Reaching The Ocean

Worst Aid