Not Tequila

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown