QuotaBillsPayday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed
Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson
Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy
When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway