#1 humor site on the 'net

Nintendo Auto Correct

Highway spellchecker

Nintendo Auto Correct thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

Correction does much, but encouragement does more. - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

A round wife and a full barn are the signs of good success. - Amish Saying

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment. - John Wooden

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


Wife Of The Year

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

GhetToes

Flippin'

Double Vision

Dodgy Ticker

Put On A Happy Face

Yoga Man

Camouflage Driver

Icicle Drinks

TV Weather Forecast

Somebody Spiked My Drink

Work Awareness

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Chicken Roost

Cloud March

Wicked Stawm

Ready To Leave

Google Ice Skating

Twin Dish

DNA Testing Down South

Two Feet Of Snow

Canadian Winter Bed

Sans Seatbelt