In Stitches

I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Humor is reason gone mad. - Groucho Marx

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

When humor goes, there goes civilization. - Erma Bombeck

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. - Edward Albee

Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense. - Jacob Riis

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

Humour and irony include tragedy; they're two sides of the same coin. - Maurizio Cattelan

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance. - W Somerset Maugham

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. - George Herbert

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. - Clifton Fadiman

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does! - Debbie Gibson

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. - Teri Garr

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought. - Lin Yutang

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. - Lewis Mumford

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Two things are important for missionaries: (1) they have a sense of humour; and (2) the have no sense of smell. - Phil Callaway

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. - Tina Fey

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great, but how to laugh through it. - Liza Minnelli

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. - E.B. White

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart