In Stitches

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Humor comes from self-confidence. - Rita Mae Brown

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

Laughing Stock: Cattle with a sense of humour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. - Larry Gelbart

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

Why do the best doctors have the sickest patients? - Unknown

Asphyxiation: What a surgeon does about an asphalt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never trust a theologian who doesn't have a sense of humor. - D Elton Trueblood

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. - Michael J. Fox

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humour. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance. - W Somerset Maugham

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

Faith handles the ultimate incongruities of life, humor handles the more immediate ones. - William S Coffin

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. - Teri Garr

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. - Sarah Silverman

I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor. - Christopher Hitchens

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. - George Saunders

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face. - Eva Hoffman

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. - Tina Fey

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

There's nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face. - Eva Hoffman

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great, but how to laugh through it. - Liza Minnelli

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. - Horace Walpole

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler