In Stitches

Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23

Sickness soaks the purse. - International Proverb

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense. - Jacob Riis

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. - Irvin S. Cobb

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

A decrepit society shuns humour as a decrepit individual shuns drafts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society. - William M Thackeray

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it. - Allen Klein

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

The sense of humor has other things to do than to make itself conspicuous in the act of laughter. - Alice Meynell

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood. - Lou Holtz

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humor. - Ralph Inge

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. - James Thurber

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart