In Stitches

Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Asphyxiation: What a surgeon does about an asphalt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

A sense of humour is the ability to laugh at one's self. - Charlie Chaplin

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. - Edward Albee

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. - Irvin S. Cobb

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. - Fred Allen

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humour. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance. - W Somerset Maugham

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. - Allen Klein

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. - Clifton Fadiman

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does! - Debbie Gibson

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. - Max Eastman

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times. - John Gerzema

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood. - Lou Holtz

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face. - Eva Hoffman

There's nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face. - Eva Hoffman

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - William James

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. - Horace Walpole

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler