#1 humor site on the 'net

I Before E

English grammar lesson

I Before E thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.

QuotaBills
Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. - Warren G Bennis

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. - Peter Drucker

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Ninety percent of leadership is the ability to communicate something people want. - Dianne Feinstein

If you cannot understand me in my speech, how can you understand me in my silence? - Ravi Zacharias

The result of bad communication is a disconnection between strategy and execution. - Chuck Martin

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

You don't really understand something unless you can communicate it in a simple way. - Albert Einstein

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

In the places I go there are things that I see that I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. - Dr. Seuss

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

The best managers figure out how to get great outcomes by setting the appropriate context, rather than by trying to control their people. - Reed Hastings


Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale

Husband of the Year

Child Disarma-meant

Ancient Greek Stormtrooper

Ferrous Wheel

Dese Are My Bebies

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Dog Kennel

Mom Posting

Flying is so Overrated

Too Short

Pinocchio Playground

Bike Bed

Hi, My Name's Cliff - Drop Over Some Time!

TP Kid

Soccer Overpass

Aussie Starter Fluid

Laxative Cream Pie