QuotaBillsSanta's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare
Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks
Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker
Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker
It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou
Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman
One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey
We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas
I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put
the batteries. - Milton Berle
Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple
Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger
Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux
Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon