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Home Invasion Kit

Liberal way to defend your home

A liberal friend asked me what I thought he might need in order to defend his home and family from home invasion. I suggested a couple of clips, a 9mm, and a box of shells. A few days later he sent me this picture and asked me how to make it all work.
Home Invasion Kit thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
I only direct in self-defense. - Mel Brooks

If you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. - Oliver Goldsmith

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. - Edward R. Murrow

Denial is a useful defense mechanism until it's not. - Rosalind Kaplan

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

The role of the artist today is to defend feeling against the machine. - Marty Rubin

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Idealism, alas, does not protect one from ignorance, dogmatism, and foolishness. - Sidney Hook

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau

I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud

As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius

Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. - Lewis Mumford

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. - Unknown

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama


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