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Home Invasion Kit

Liberal way to defend your home

A liberal friend asked me what I thought he might need in order to defend his home and family from home invasion. I suggested a couple of clips, a 9mm, and a box of shells. A few days later he sent me this picture and asked me how to make it all work.
Home Invasion Kit thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
I only direct in self-defense. - Mel Brooks

If you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. - Oliver Goldsmith

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Man has no nobler function than to defend the truth. - Mahalia Jackson

There is no defense against criticism except obscurity. - Joseph Addison

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

You used so much oil the U.S. is trying to invade the plate. - Gordon Ramsay

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

The role of the artist today is to defend feeling against the machine. - Marty Rubin

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. - Jonathan S Foer

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

The act of defending any of the cardinal virtues has today ll the exhilaration of a vice. - G K Chesterton

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb

The game is played not to protect the rules; rather, the rules are made to protect the game. - Ravi Zacharias

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud

As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. - Lewis Mumford

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden


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