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Home Invasion Kit

Liberal way to defend your home

A liberal friend asked me what I thought he might need in order to defend his home and family from home invasion. I suggested a couple of clips, a 9mm, and a box of shells. A few days later he sent me this picture and asked me how to make it all work.
Home Invasion Kit thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
If you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey

People use irony as a defense mechanism. - David Byrne

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. - Oliver Goldsmith

First Aid Kit: A cat that works for the Red Cross. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

There is no defense against criticism except obscurity. - Joseph Addison

We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. - Edward R. Murrow

Denial is a useful defense mechanism until it's not. - Rosalind Kaplan

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

You used so much oil the U.S. is trying to invade the plate. - Gordon Ramsay

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

The role of the artist today is to defend feeling against the machine. - Marty Rubin

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. - Jonathan S Foer

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud

As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. - Lewis Mumford

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce

It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Accountant: 1. A noble insect; 2. A dutiful book balancer whose role within a corporation is to protect it from creative ideas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sir, your remarks are repugnant to me, and I disagree with your viewpoints. But I will defend to the death your right to express them. - Voltaire

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama


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