Grandma's Cell Phone

Grammatical Error: When Grandma screws up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

The days of the digital watch are numbered. - Tom Stoppard

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

I do everything on my phone as a lot of people do. - Mark Zuckerberg

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

The great myth of our times is that technology is communication. - Libby Larsen

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

Spoiled Rotten: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The result of bad communication is a disconnection between strategy and execution. - Chuck Martin

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. - Demetri Martin

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. - Gary Shteyngart

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

Phonesia: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Xylophone: Revolutionary communication device that turns the sounds of the voice into a mellow, musical chime - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Antelope: 1. Why Grandpa won't forgive Uncle; 2. Event involving two bugs who fall in love and run away together. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success: Concentration, Discrimination, Organization, Innovation and Communication. - Harold S Geneen

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown