#1 humor site on the 'net

Good Woman Wanted

'Must Haves' include airplane and hangar

Good Woman Wanted thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Breathing dreams like air. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

Women's word is never done. - American Proverb

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Never argue with a woman, a winner, or a weapon. - Frank Dane

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

America is a land where men govern, but women rule. - John M Brown

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

The smiles of a pretty woman are the tears of the purse. - Italian Proverb

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Men prefer brief praise, pitched high; women are satisfied with praise in a lower key, just so it goes on and on - Mignon McLaughlin

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera


Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence

Horse-Back Riding

Social Distancing Fine

Burnout Indication

Lost Luggage

A Balanced Diet

Bowen Arrow

Business School Basics

Broken Potted Plant Art

Fish Hat

Fairy Soap

Floor Legs

Microscopic Reader

Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Swan Heels

Windshield Defrogger

Side-Ways

Sonic Straw

Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap