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Fake News

And they should know...

Fake News thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp. - Unknown

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

When everything gets answered, it's fake. - Sean Penn

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

How can I tell if humility is genuine or fake? - David J. Bobb

No news is good news; no journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. - Drake Edwards

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

Not all the news that's fit to print is fit to read. - Unknown

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back. - Bob Hope

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

I'm as strong as a bull moose and you can use me to the limit. - Theodore Roosevelt

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George Burns

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

I've had a lot of luck. If I didn't I'd be washing bottles in Russia. - Marat Safin

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

I pranced around the room like a blind moose, but what I lacked in grace I made up for in effort. - Kiera Cass

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


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