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Fake News

And they should know...

Fake News thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

How can I tell if humility is genuine or fake? - David J. Bobb

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi. - Mikey Way

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. - Henry David Thoreau

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

When the news is scary, you should look for the helpers. - Fred Rogers

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George Burns

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you. - Yakov Smirnoff

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

I think Kazan is Russia's sportiest city after Moscow, leaving all the others far behind. - Marat Safin

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

I pranced around the room like a blind moose, but what I lacked in grace I made up for in effort. - Kiera Cass

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

You know what they say in Hollywood - the most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it. - Cesar Romero

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self. - Millicent Fenwick

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


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