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Fake News

And they should know...

Fake News thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Anything that consoles is fake. - Iris Murdoch

Moose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon

Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp. - Unknown

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

When everything gets answered, it's fake. - Sean Penn

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

How can I tell if humility is genuine or fake? - David J. Bobb

That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi. - Mikey Way

No news is good news; no journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia. - Robert Frost

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

I think Kazan is Russia's sportiest city after Moscow, leaving all the others far behind. - Marat Safin

In the beginning was the Lie and the Lie was made news and dwelt among us, graceless and false. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

I pranced around the room like a blind moose, but what I lacked in grace I made up for in effort. - Kiera Cass

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

You know what they say in Hollywood - the most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it. - Cesar Romero

Sometimes an alien would stand with a moose, not because of solidarity, but because of accidentally doing it. - Tao Lin

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self. - Millicent Fenwick

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus


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