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Fake News

And they should know...

Fake News thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Moose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon

Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

How can I tell if humility is genuine or fake? - David J. Bobb

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. - Drake Edwards

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

Pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on earth. - Daniel M Ortberg

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

I'm as strong as a bull moose and you can use me to the limit. - Theodore Roosevelt

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you. - Yakov Smirnoff

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

You know what they say in Hollywood - the most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it. - Cesar Romero

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to 'prove their love' like a moose needs a hat rack. - Abigail VanBuren

Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self. - Millicent Fenwick

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


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