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Fake News

And they should know...

Fake News thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Anything that consoles is fake. - Iris Murdoch

Moose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon

Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

When everything gets answered, it's fake. - Sean Penn

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

How can I tell if humility is genuine or fake? - David J. Bobb

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi. - Mikey Way

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. - Henry David Thoreau

No news is good news; no journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. - Drake Edwards

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Not all the news that's fit to print is fit to read. - Unknown

When the news is scary, you should look for the helpers. - Fred Rogers

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back. - Bob Hope

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia. - Robert Frost

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

I think Kazan is Russia's sportiest city after Moscow, leaving all the others far behind. - Marat Safin

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

I pranced around the room like a blind moose, but what I lacked in grace I made up for in effort. - Kiera Cass

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to 'prove their love' like a moose needs a hat rack. - Abigail VanBuren

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there. - Yakov Smirnoff

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self. - Millicent Fenwick

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


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