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Fake News

And they should know...

Fake News thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Anything that consoles is fake. - Iris Murdoch

Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi. - Mikey Way

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. - Drake Edwards

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

I'm as strong as a bull moose and you can use me to the limit. - Theodore Roosevelt

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

I think Kazan is Russia's sportiest city after Moscow, leaving all the others far behind. - Marat Safin

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

You know what they say in Hollywood - the most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it. - Cesar Romero

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

I know runners who have suffered a tick bite and ended up with Lyme disease. I'll take an angry moose any day. - Don Kardong

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to 'prove their love' like a moose needs a hat rack. - Abigail VanBuren

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


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