#1 humor site on the 'net

E. coli

Re-calling Swiss Ricola cough drops

E. coli thanks to Tim Smith

QuotaBills
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. - Maya Angelou

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus. - Joshua Lederberg

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury


Fox Hunting Madness

Emperor Penguins

The Side Effects of Veganism

Stair Railing Electrician

Cold Faucet

Make Womb For Baby

Hardtail Bike

Birth Control Kit

Come-Back Line Of The Year

Duck Gears

Chewing Gum Hazard

Keyboard Seating

Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar