#1 humor site on the 'net

Downspout Planters

Downturn in gutter sales

Downspout Planters thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Recede: Plant the garden again - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A flower blossoms for its own joy. - Oscar Wilde

Where flowers bloom, so does hope. - Lady Bird Johnson

I must have flowers, always and always. - Claude Monet

A weed is no more than a flower in disguise. - James R Lowell

It's a point or setter plant (poinsettia). - Archie Bunker

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

Weed: A plant whose virtues have not been discovered - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers. - Robert G Ingersoll

There are always flowers for those who want to see them. - Henri Matisse

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Tennis: a sport in which even an unseeded player can flower. - Unknown

Since the thing perhaps is to eat flowers and not to be afraid. - e e cummings

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. - Pablo Neruda

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

And 'tis my faith, that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes. - William Wordsworth

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love. - St. Basil of Caesarea

The fairest thing in nature, a flower, still has its roots in earth and manure. - D H Lawrence

Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. - Hans Christian Andersen

If we do not plant knowledge when young, it will give us no shade when we are old. - Lord Chesterfield

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change. - Buddha

Forgiveness is the fragrance the flower leaves on the heel of the one who crushed it. - David Jeremiah

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Tennyson

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad. The End. - Unknown

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

Plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. - Jose L Borges

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

Why buy flowers for Valentine's Day? Just go to a cemetery and collect a dozen off a few graves. - Jarod Kintz

If you plant yourself in one place and let your roots grow deep, there is no limit to what God can do. - Mark Batterson

You cannot endow even the best machine with initiative; the jolliest steamroller will not plant flowers. - Walter Lippmann

Lackadaisical: 1. Mood after someone steals your flowers; 2. Something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Humility before the flower at the timber line is the gate which gives access to the path up the open fell. - Dag Hammarskjold

Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality. - Earl Nightingale

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same. - Helen Keller

It is always good to know, if only in passing, charming human beings. It refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brooks. - George Eliot


Don't Want Your Child To Text And Drive?

Redneck Porch Lights

Party Frog

Cloud Computing

Mobile Phones

Hair Safety

Ice Cream Clouds

Software Cake

Rolo Mask

HoverCraft

Unspoken Signs

Ice Cone Cat

Nutcracker Suite - Chinese Version

Cell Phone Book

Pointless

Shark Steaks

Alligator Mating

Gun Exhaust

Chinese Cooking

Canadian Trap

Meal Squat

Tear-Paper Wall

Pupcakes

Restroom Signs