With This Ring

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf