With This Ring

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with. - Thomas Carlyle

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland