Where I Live

God gave me my money. - John D Rockefeller

Bloods’ not thicker than money. - Groucho Marx

A fool and her money are soon courted. - Helen Rowland

Budget: a way of going broke methodically. - Groucho Marx

Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

A poet can survive everything but a misprint. - Oscar Wilde

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion. - Tony Hsieh

A father carries pictures where his money used to be. - Steve Martin

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

I can live without money, but I cannot live without love. - Judy Garland

When it comes to corruption, nothing succeeds like money. - American Proverb

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. - Bob Hope

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. - Jonathan Swift

If a little money does not go out, great money will not come in. - Chinese Proverb

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

Creative minds have been known to survive any sort of bad training. - Anna Freud

The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul. - Victor Hugo

A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive. - Sheryl Sandberg

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. - Henry Fielding

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. - Henny Youngman

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. - Doug Larson

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb

Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there. - Will Smith

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence. - Henry Chester

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

Anything which is physically possible can always be made financially possible; money is a bugaboo of small minds. - Robert A. Heinlein

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

Plenty of people who survive tragedies end up ambivalent about danger--frightened by it, yet strangely drawn to it. - Keith Ablow

Success isn't measured by money or power or social rank. Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. - Mike Ditka

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever. - David B. Norris

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer