Where I Live

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Money is just an idea. - Robert T. Kiyosaki

Money often costs too much. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bloods’ not thicker than money. - Groucho Marx

A fool and his money are soon parted. - English Proverb

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

That's the straw that broke the camel's neck. - Archie Bunker

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

Money does not make you happy but it quiets the nerves. - Sean O Casey

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. - Joe Louis

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

Enjoy money while you have it. Shrouds don't have pockets. - Virginia Esberg

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. - Jonathan Swift

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D. Rockefeller

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. - Miles Kington

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. - Mark Twain

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

In our world, more often the truth is 'Money talks and integrity walks.' - Bill Welker

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it. - Henry David Thoreau

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

If you want to find money, focus on people. If you want to lose people, focus on money. - Rob Liano

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. - Bill Vaughan

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

The man who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him. - Voltaire

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. - Oscar Wilde

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

We shouldn't spend money on things we don't need when others don't have the things they do. - Peter Singer

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. - Ernest Haskins

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt. - Mark Twain

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. - G. Gordon Liddy

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever. - David B. Norris

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. - Maya Angelou

We spend money we don't have, on things we don't need, to make impressions that don't last, on people we don't care about. - Tim Jackson

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki