#1 humor site on the 'net

Watch Out

Georgia was just following the escalator instructions

Watch Out thanks to Georgia Hall

QuotaBills
Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus

Genuine 100% chromonometer (a watch) - Archie Bunker

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak. - Indian Proverb

I xeroxed my watch. Now I can give away free watches. - Steven Wright

Ratify: To use a spell and turn a person into a rodent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. - Evangel

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio. - Gerald R. Ford

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

Watch out when you're getting all you want. Fattening hogs ain't in luck. - Joel C Harris

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do. - Andrew Carnegie

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

In the places I go there are things that I see that I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. - Dr. Seuss

People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home. - Dagobert D. Runes

Give me a few lines of a man's handwriting; that will be sufficient for me to get him hanged. - Cardinal Richelieu

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment. - T.H. White

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The best managers figure out how to get great outcomes by setting the appropriate context, rather than by trying to control their people. - Reed Hastings

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


Tourist Baggage

Amish Sailboat

Aging Cyclist

Best Tea Cup

Shoddy Goaltending - Not

Roller Derby Princess

Redneck Hotter Tub

Walk The Line

Sidewalk Jammies

Senior Center Reminder

Time Of Day

Waiting Is Good

Solar Charging

Submergible

Fast Closure

Penalty Shot

Redneck Date

Non-Hot Dog

Unattended Children

Open Goal Forgiveness

Double Your Vision

How To Become A Pirate

He Did It

HorseBack Riding