#1 humor site on the 'net

Volkswagen Traffic Jam

Where VW's rust in peace

Volkswagen Traffic Jam thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Equine Influenza: A viral respiratory disease which causes flu-like symptoms in horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I don't want a flu jab. I like getting flu. It gives me something else to complain about. - David Letterman

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield


Calling In Sick - Snow Job for the Boss

Look At It This Way

Camouflaged Owls

Snow Geese

Quantum Physiques

Typewriter Parts

Irish Flu Shots

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Winter Blues

Pink Freud

Geriatric Flight

Chili Rub

Safety Pin Face

New York's Morning Cup of Java

Pole Position

Before Political Correctness

Tooth Loss

Organic Compromise

Classic Ballet Ad

Redneck Air Conditioning Controls

End Of World Car Sale

Digging Up A Date

Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver