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Volkswagen Traffic Jam thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Exact: What eggs do on stage - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. - H L Mencken

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman


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