Under Control

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints. - Unknown

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

There is always a limit to self-indulgence, but none to self-restraint. - M. K. Gandhi

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

Tattoos - it's like wearing an Ed Hardy shirt for the rest of your life. - Russell Peters

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik