#1 humor site on the 'net

Under Control

Undershirt baby restraint allows quality kitchen prep time

Under Control thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deceitful: Infant who needs changing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints. - Unknown

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

A protective tariff is a typical conspiracy in restraint of trade. - Thorstein Veblen

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

There is always a limit to self-indulgence, but none to self-restraint. - M. K. Gandhi

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Play for the name on the front of the shirt and they'll remember the name on the back. - Unknown

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I have never seen anyone burn a flag. And if I did, it would take every ounce of restraint I had not to haul off and hit them. - Barack Obama

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Chevforodge

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

Not Stuck

Motorcycle For Sale

Dog Cross

Pigeon Drink

Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour