QuotaBillsPayday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney
Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller
When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison