Three Cats Ago

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

Cataract: Where cats hang their coats. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Ignorant men raise questions that wise men answered a thousand years ago. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller