#1 humor site on the 'net

Three Cats Ago

Going back many years ago when you were normal

Three Cats Ago thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

Cataract: Where cats hang their coats. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Ignorant men raise questions that wise men answered a thousand years ago. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


World Cup Elephant

Alternative To Spanking

That Takes Some Skill

The Ass Family

Kids Meal

Stretch Exercises You Can Do At Your Desk

A Foot Of Sun

Sushi Spine

Police Targeting

Happy Bird's Eye UU

Moose Parking

Glassman

Paint Pants

World Cup Attention Getter

Fear Of Light

Bird Condo

Very Cold Beer

Seniors Bike Club

Watching The World Cup

Friendly BBQ Reminder

Geek Piano

Ugly Haircut

XL Safety Shoes

Dance With Me