Texas 4 Months Apart

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. - Unknown

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. - Nicolas Chamfort

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true. - Alfred Tennyson

Today's weather forecast: heavy showers of blessings, strong wings to blow your worries away, followed by warm hugs and kisses to put smiles on your face. - Unknown

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams

The ancient feud between cat and dog is not forgotten in the north, for the Lynx is the deadly foe of the Fox and habitually kills it when there is soft snow and scarcity of easier prey. - Ernest T. Seton