#1 humor site on the 'net

Sunken Bed

How to cut out the box spring mattress middleman

Sunken Bed thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Luck is the residue of design. - Branch Rickey

Style is the dress of thoughts. - Lord Chesterfield

Bed is the poor man's opera. - Italian Proverb

Book lovers never go to bed alone. - Unknown

A revolution is not a bed of roses. - Fidel Castro

No bed is big enough to hold three. - German Proverb

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

I'm good in bed. I can sleep all day. - Unknown

Logic is a poor guide compared with custom. - Winston Churchill

Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess. - Edna Woolman Chase

Do not let people form your own style for you. - Mon Levchenkova

The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin

You'd think I was Lazarus rising from the bed. - Archie Bunker

How you make your bed is how you are going to sleep. - Greek Proverb

You have to get up early if you want to get out of bed. - Groucho Marx

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. - Josh Billings

Punk is defined by an attitude rather than a musical style. - David Byrne

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. - Quentin Crisp

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

It's great to get up in the morning, but nicer to lie in bed. - Unknown

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. - Jackson Brown

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. - Ogden Nash

To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past. - Charles J Givens

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I didn't fall. I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Unknown

Bad habits are like a good bed; easy to get into but difficult to get out of. - Unknown

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Pajamas: Items of clothing that newlyweds place beside the bed in case of fire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. - Unknown

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with. - Jimmy Fallon

Can anything be so elegant as to have few wants, and to serve them one's self? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. - Unknown

It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed. - C S Lewis

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again. - Will Rogers

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. - Jim Rohn

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You're welcome to come here, except my bed's from Ikea so it's more unstable than I am. - Unknown

Floordrobe: A floor littered with discarded clothes, viewed ironically as a clothing storage system - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

I look at Google and think they have a strong academic culture. Elegant solutions to complex problems. - Mark Zuckerberg

Sunsets are great. Sunrises are a mixed bag. You either got up way too early or went to bed way too late. - Matt Dillon

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

Every ceiling, when reached, becomes a floor, upon which one walks as a matter of course and prescriptive right. - Aldous Huxley

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed. - Ann Landers

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom. - Mark Twain

Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man’s upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground floor. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. - Zig Ziglar

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

Instead of one-way interruption, Web marketing is about delivering useful content at just the precise moment that a buyer needs it. - David M. Scott

A designer knows that he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. - Antoine de St-Expurey

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Contempt for happiness is usually contempt for other people's happiness, and is an elegant disguise for hatred of the human race. - Bertrand Russell

How much more grand is the work of our Heavenly Father as he pulls together all the varied strands of life to reveal his grand design? - Ravi Zacharias

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. - Maya Angelou

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

Style is that which indicates how the writer takes himself and what he is saying. It is the mind skating circles around itself as it moves forward. - Robert Frost

When a man's suit fits, when the construction is beautiful, when the sewing and fabrics are there - in the end, you'll look the best in it. - John Varvatos

Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good;
That is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today. - Ogden Nash


Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs