#1 humor site on the 'net

Senior's TV Tray

Dining room collar model - Patent Pending

Senior's TV Tray thanks to Roy Taylor

QuotaBills
To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

I have Alzheimer's bulimia - first I eat everything in sight, then I forget to puke. - Cindy Marzahn

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

If you learn to listen for clues as to how I feel instead of what I say, you will be able to understand me much better. - Mara Botonis

I have Dementia
My responses may be slow.
Take your time and wait for me,
It means more than you can know! - Unknown

Alzheimer's disease starts when a protein that should be folded up properly misfolds into a kind of demented origami. - Gregory Petsko

Please promise me. If and when the day comes that I may forget who you are, please promise that you won't forget that I am still me. - Mara Botonis

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin

To eat well, I always disagree with critics who say that all restaurants should be fine dining. You can get a Michelin star if you serve the best hamburger in the world. - David Chang

There is something about a martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin;
And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth -
I think that perhaps it's the gin. - Ogden Nash

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most. - Jay Leno

Dementia care isn't easy. Caring for a person living with Alzheimer's or a related dementia is difficult. In fact, caring is one of the most difficult undertakings that anyone could ever imagine. - Bob deMarco

Friends are an aid to the young, to guard them from error; to the elderly, to attend to their wants and to supplement their failing power of action; to those in the prime of life, to assist them to noble deeds. - Aristotle

A man over 90 is a great comfort to all his elderly neighbours. He is a picket-guard at the extreme outpost; and the young folks of 60 and 70 feel that the enemy must get by him before he can come near their camp. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Those with dementia are still people and they still have stories and they still have character and they're all individuals and they're all unique. And they just need to be interacted with on a human level. - Carey Mulligan

The first principle of love for persons with cognitive disability is to reveal to them their value by providing attention, concern and tenderness. Any experienced carer knows that the person with dementia, however advanced, will usually respond better to someone whose affect is affirming in tone. - Stephen Post


Pulled You Over

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards

Leaf Edge

Windmill Guitar

Redneck Shave

Coffee Grinds

Legal Exhibit

Cattle Breeding

Study to Fail

Light Bulb

Lifeguard Distancing

Giant Grasshopper

Horse Hearse

Train Boat

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Canned Art

Bubble Boy

High Wire Bear Feeder

Manitoba Thunderstorm

Watermelon Shark

Curses, Foiled Again

Recipe Holder

Where Do You Want To Eat?

Pick Up After Your Dogs!