Redneck Palm Tree

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Hiking and happiness go hand in hand (or foot in boot). - Diane Spicer

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

When my wrestlers got their hands raised, I jumped for joy. - Dan Gable

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? - Milton Berle

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. - John Muir

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

My favourite quotation is eight pounds ten for a second-hand suit. - Spike Milligan

When a finger points to the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger. - Chinese Proverb

He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time. - Richard Nixon

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

If you tell a joe-k in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joe-k? - Steven Wright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Alone, you are only as good as your reach; you must join hands with others. - Joe Segal

If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. - Yiddish Proverb

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more trees. - George Eliot

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

When life hands you a lemon, say, "Oh year, I like lemons, what else ya got?" - Henry Rollins

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. - Willa Cather

Self-pity is a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you because you have chosen to sink. - Elisabeth Elliot

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

By the time I taught myself the bass guitar at the age of 14, my hands were already pretty nimble. - John Entwistle

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

He who is present at a wrong-doing and does not life a hand to prevent it is as guilty as the wrongdoers. - Omaha Proverb

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown