Redneck Palm Tree

Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I didn't give you the finger - you earned it. - Bill Murray

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

You can't hold your head high with your hand out. - Yiddish Proverb

United Nations: Where America feeds the hands that bite it. - Gregory Nunn

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" - George Carlin

My favourite quotation is eight pounds ten for a second-hand suit. - Spike Milligan

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers. - Phyllis Diller

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. - Spike Milligan

I go silent so I can write. When my tongue is wagging, my fingers are silent. - Sonia Rumzi

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Lay hold of life with both hands, whenever thou mayest seize it, it is interesting. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, another bit by the head of Maradona. - Diego Maradona

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The greatest happiness love can offer is the first pressure of hands between you and your beloved. - Stendhal

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you. - Will Rogers

I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein. - George W. Bush

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will. - Jawaharlal Nehru

Knowledge is a deadly friend when no one sets the rules;
The fate of all mankind I see is in the hand of fools. - King Crimson

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. - Audrey Hepburn

There's an upside to grandparenthood. You play, you give, you love, then you hand them back and go to an early movie. - Billy Crystal

I've learned that people will seldom let you down if they understand that your destiny is in their hands, and vice versa. - Harvey Mackay

Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is. - Maxim Gorky

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

No one is going to hand me success. I must go out and get it myself. That's why I'm here. To dominate. To conquer. Both the world and myself. - Unknown

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown