#1 humor site on the 'net

Pork Bean Christmas

Have a Root'n Toot'n Christmas!

Pork Bean Christmas thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

Has Beans: Used coffee grounds - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

You can never put too much pork in your mouth. - Lewis Black

Ike runs the country, and I turn the pork chops. - Mamie Eisenhower

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns) - Robert Byrne

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I'm carrying so much pork, I'm beginning to get trichinosis. - Phil Gramm

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. - Casablanca

He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste. - Nikita Khrushchev


Where Do You Want To Eat?

Pick Up After Your Dogs!

Lego Bridge

Falls Trail Tree

Melting Kayak

Beetle Collection

Croc Diet

Plane Restaurant

Holiday Fun

Sandwich Shoes

Fearless

Finally Got A Haircut

Fedorable Platypuses

Lego Sushi

Hedge Face

Computer Bread

Robbers Lives Matter

UnBralievable

Rubble Trouble

Pool Side

Hair Moan Therapy

Beachport

Warm Nap

Wall Parkade