Parking Above Snow Level

Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

Parking Lot Attendant: Professional fender bender - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated roof. - Thomas Beecham

Santanism: The belief that when you die, your soul gets stuck in the chimney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. - George Carlin

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

In New York, everybody looks great and is well dressed, but seeing someone in Ohio wearing Marc Jacobs is like spotting an owl in Central Park. Rare. - Isabel Gillies