Novocaine Feeling

Flew: Plane sickness. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. - Don Herold

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

Basketball, a game which won’t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus high and return the giraffes to the zoo. - Ogden Nash

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler