#1 humor site on the 'net

Nice Try, China

Heavy Dtuy Wrench

Nice Try, China thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wrenching products in the global marketplace

QuotaBills
Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

Clever men are good, but they are not the best. - Thomas Carlyle

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


Wi-Fi Free Restaurant

Buffalo Construction Plans

For Best Results

Ruling On Criticism

Bacon Pancakes

Very Left Turn Driver

Cold Sermon

Store Tested Coffee

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

End Of The Line

Cow Vacation

Wheelchair Warriors

Women's Rights

Finger's House

Deplorter

Squeegee Clothing

Child's Decision Making Tree

Ambition

Cold Books

Ikea Blueprint

Waterslide Closet

Canadian Whiskey

Car-Eating Cow

Tea For Two