QuotaBillsAfford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. - Frank Lloyd Wright
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright
Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com