QuotaBillsSanta's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker
Fishing Gear Vendors: Reel estate agents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings. - C O Jackson
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison
I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker
You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki
Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle
If quantum mechanics hasn't profoundly shocked you, you haven't understood it yet. - Niels Bohr
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright
My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey
I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put
the batteries. - Milton Berle
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple
To make our way, we must have firm resolve, persistence, tenacity. We must gear ourselves to work hard all the way. We can never let up. - Ralph Bunche
Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon