Make America Great Again

The best of America drifts to Paris. - F Scott Fitzgerald

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. - John Updike

I'm as single as a slice of American cheese. - Nick Cannon

America is a land where men govern, but women rule. - John M Brown

I pledge myself to a New Deal for the American people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense. - Ed Howe

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

America is the land of permanent waves and impermanent wives. - Brendan Behan

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

The hyphen, that's the most un-American thing in the world. - Woodrow Wilson

Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy. - Margaret Thatcher

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. - H L Mencken

The most important question in American cinema is "When is lunch?" - Tommy Lee Jones

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. - Will Rogers

In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball. - Jacques Barzun

Any lack of confidence in the economic future of the United States is foolish. - Herbert Hoover

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

The number one disease of business leaders in North America is procrastination. - Napoleon Hill

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

In America nobody says you have to keep the circumstances somebody else gives you. - Amy Tan

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

In America the President reigns for four years and journalism governs forever and ever. - Oscar Wilde

One third of the people in the United States promote while the other two thirds provide. - Will Rogers

America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense, human rights invented America. - Jimmy Carter

The spirit of America has nurtured responsibility and community unlike any other country. - Stephen Covey

The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. - George Carlin

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. - Oscar Wilde

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions. - George Carlin

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

I get the feeling that the two biggest problems in America today are making ends meet, and making meetings end. - Robert Orben

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

One good thing about living in America is that there is no neurosis too insignificant to merit its own paperback. - Deborah Solomon

America's present need is not heroics but healing; not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution but restoration. - Warren G. Harding

Americans still believe in an America where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do. - Barack Obama

They talk about the failure of socialism but where is the success of capitalism in Africa, Asia and Latin America? - Fidel Castro

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. - Benjamin Franklin

I have done a Hamburger Helper commercial, a Hardees commercial, a McDonalds commercial. American Express commercial. - Luke Benward

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

In America the young are always ready to give to those who are older than themselves the full benefits of their inexperience. - Oscar Wilde

Does America really need to be the best at everything? You already dominate the world in economics, military power and obesity. - Trevor Noah

Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest. - George Carlin

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Reporter to Beatles during their first US tour: "How do you find America?"
Ringo Starr: "Turn left at Greenland." - Ringo Starr

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney