Make America Great Again

The best of America drifts to Paris. - F Scott Fitzgerald

America can't beat anyone anymore. - George Clooney

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

There are no American infidels in Baghdad. - Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

America is addicted to wars of distraction. - Barbara Ehrenreich

God Bless America, written by Milton Berlin. - Archie Bunker

America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. - John Updike

I'm as single as a slice of American cheese. - Nick Cannon

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. - George Bernard Shaw

America is a land where men govern, but women rule. - John M Brown

Mexico's making a fortune off the United States. - Donald Trump

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

The American Way of life, si! The American Way of death, no! - Archie Bunker

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. - Bill Vaughn

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

No one flower can every symbolize this nation. America is a bouquet. - William Safire

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. - Adlai Stevenson

America forms the longest and straightest bone in the earth's skeleton. - Ellsworth Huntington

The most important question in American cinema is "When is lunch?" - Tommy Lee Jones

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. - Will Rogers

Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball. - Jacques Barzun

Any lack of confidence in the economic future of the United States is foolish. - Herbert Hoover

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. - P.T. Barnum

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously. - Jay Leno

I do know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

In America the President reigns for four years and journalism governs forever and ever. - Oscar Wilde

One third of the people in the United States promote while the other two thirds provide. - Will Rogers

The spirit of America has nurtured responsibility and community unlike any other country. - Stephen Covey

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle. - Alexis de Tocqueville

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center. - Jon Stewart

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

To be President of the United States, sir, is to act as advocate for a blind, venomous, and ungrateful client. - John Updike

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honoured by posterity because he was the last to discover America. - James Joyce

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions. - George Carlin

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

One good thing about living in America is that there is no neurosis too insignificant to merit its own paperback. - Deborah Solomon

America's present need is not heroics but healing; not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution but restoration. - Warren G. Harding

They talk about the failure of socialism but where is the success of capitalism in Africa, Asia and Latin America? - Fidel Castro

I have done a Hamburger Helper commercial, a Hardees commercial, a McDonalds commercial. American Express commercial. - Luke Benward

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

A free Negro of the African race is not a 'citizen' within the meaning of the constitution of the United States. - Roger Taney

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedom, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. - Abraham Lincoln

Does America really need to be the best at everything? You already dominate the world in economics, military power and obesity. - Trevor Noah

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford