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Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

Time spent amongst trees is never wasted time. - Katrina Mayer

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship. - Omar N Bradley

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

The axe cannot boast of the tree it has cut down. It could do nothing but for the woodsman. He made it, he sharpened it, and he used it. - Samuel Brengel

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafez


Only in Las Vegas

Sailing Duck

Redneck Stairs

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1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car

Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

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Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example