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If You're Happy And You Know It

Musical background for clamping your hams

If You're Happy And You Know It thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

You can never put too much pork in your mouth. - Lewis Black

Ike runs the country, and I turn the pork chops. - Mamie Eisenhower

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. - H.S. Leigh

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. - Unknown

He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner. - Benjamin Franklin

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also. - Unknown

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I'm carrying so much pork, I'm beginning to get trichinosis. - Phil Gramm

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

I am guilty of asking the Senate for pork and proud of the Senate for giving it to me. - Ted Stevens

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste. - Nikita Khrushchev


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