#1 humor site on the 'net

If Apple Made A Car

Does your computerized car have windows?

If Apple Made A Car thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why. - Bernard Baruch

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Panorama Dog

Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation

Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink Beer

Reflection

Plane Tennis

New IRS Form

Wisconsin Cheese

MAGA King

Baby Formula

When Gas Costs Too Much

Shoemobile

Salmon Street

Pandemic Treaty

People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy