I Will Never Tell

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A single arrow is easily broken, but not ten in a bundle. - Japanese Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The shaft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle's own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our destruction. - Aesop

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin