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He Did It

Tracking down the kitchen culprits

He Did It thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Adolescence is the conjugator of childhood and adulthood. - Louise J. Kaplan

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy. - George Bernard Shaw

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia


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