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Golfers and Scotch

Golf - now the official alternative to the NFL

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


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