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Elephant Instructions

How To manual for your newly purchased elephant

Elephant Instructions thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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Never read a book that is not a year old. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

What we learn with pleasure we never forget. - Alfred Mercier

Learning, undigested by thought, is labor lost. - Confucius

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson

The hardest part of growing up is learning how to wait. - Leo Rosten

You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions. - Unknown

I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve. - Jane Austen

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence. - Edith Sitwell

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

The fine art of preparing sushi is something that you watch and learn. - Nobu Matsuhisa

It's impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. - Epictetus

My problem with reading books is that I get distracted. By other books. - Unknown

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

We yearned for the future. How did we learn it, that talent for insatiability? - Margaret Atwood

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas

Make it simple. Make it memorable. Make it inviting to look at. Make it fun to read. - Leo Burnett

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Trouble is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired. - Milton Berle

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

A capacity and taste for reading gives access to whatever has already been discovered by others. - Abraham Lincoln

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

When I only begin to read, I forget I'm on this world. It lifts me on wings with high thoughts. - Anzia Yezierska

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

I love sushi, though I just read something about how you shouldn't eat sushi more than once a week. - Jacqueline Obradors

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. - Unknown

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The greatest men sometimes overshoot themselves, but then their very mistakes are so many lessons of instruction. - Tom Browne

Five years from now, you're the same person except for the people you've met and the books you've read. - John Wooden

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

It's what I learn from the great actors that I work with. Stillness. That's all and that's the hardest thing. - Morgan Freeman

The piano is a universal instrument. If you start there, learn your theory and how to read, you can go on to any other instrument. - Eddie Van Halen

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Worrying is the most natural and spontaneous of all human functions. It is time to acknowledge this, perhaps even to learn to do it better. - Lewis Thomas

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus


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