#1 humor site on the 'net

Easter Math

1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4 Given

Easter Math thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Gone but not forgiven. - Unknown

Forgotten is forgiven. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Only where graves are is there resurrection. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

What is forgiven is usually well remembered. - Louis Dudek

It is the resurrection that makes Good Friday good. - Ravi Zacharias

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. - Dave Chappelle

In truth,there was only one christian and he died on the cross. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

The cross comes before the crown, and tomorrow is a Monday morning. - C S Lewis

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

Carpenter: 1. A guy who nails down his agreement; 2. A shelf made man. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

Where the needs of the world and your talents cross, there lies your vocation. - Aristotle

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

Knowing that you are completely forgiven destroys the power of sin in your life. - Joseph Prince

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

We are not forgiven because we are good. We are forgiven because Christ bore our sins. - Joseph Prince

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

When you carry the cross of Jesus, you will find that the cross will wind up carrying you. - Unknown

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

The resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless. - Joseph B Wirthlin

To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer

It has been the cross which has revealed to good men that their goodness has not been good enough. - Richard J Neuhaus

We proclaim the resurrection of Christ when his light illuminates the dark moments of our existence. - Pope Francis

It is the crucifixion that distinguishes the new message from the mythologies of all other peoples. - Martin Hengel

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. - David Lloyd George

If you don't run to the cross in your messages, your people won't run to the cross in their trials. - Bill Giovannetti

Practice mercy and forgiveness throughout as a lesson that symbolizes the love shown through his crucifixion. - Unarine Ramaru

The ineffable joy of forgiving and being forgiven forms an ecstasy that might well arouse the envy of the gods. - Elbert Hubbard

It cost God nothing, so far as we know, to create nice things: but to convert rebellious wills cost him crucifixion. - C S Lewis

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. - Steven Wright

The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. - Robert Flatt

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself, for every man has need to be forgiven. - Thomas Fuller

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

Unless I understand the Cross, I cannot understand why my commitment to what is right must be precedence over what I prefer. - Ravi Zacharias

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or claw your way to the top. It's sure been tough on my nails. - Jack Nicholson

It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy

The Cross was the manifestation of Divine love without reserve or limit; but it was also the expression of man's unutterable malignity. - Robert Anderson

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

Many promising reconciliations have broken down because while both parties come prepared to forgive, neither party come prepared to be forgiven. - Charles Williams

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven. - George Herbert

The Cross! There, and there only though the deist rave, and the atheist, if Earth bears so base a slave; There and there only, is the power to save. - William Cowper


Best Hands-On Coverage

Pressing Art

Mask Alternatives

Watch Out For Deer!

Chinese Music School

Student Driver

iPad Not

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

It Even Has A Chimney

Seal Survival

www: Wagtail Windscreen Wiper

Water Dancer

Shopping Wait-er

Flamingo Imposter

Goat Tree

Ontario Spring Dining

Empty Birdhouse

180 Degrees From Ordinary

How To Float

Redneck Tank Top

Grasping Shirt

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Hazardous Delivery

Log Out - Here It Comes!