#1 humor site on the 'net

Easter Math

1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4 Given

Easter Math thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Gone but not forgiven. - Unknown

Forgotten is forgiven. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Sins cannot be undone, only forgiven. - Igor Stravinsky

Only where graves are is there resurrection. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

First Aid Kit: A cat that works for the Red Cross. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

The lesson is that you can still make mistakes and be forgiven. - Robert Downy, Jr.

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. - Dave Chappelle

In truth,there was only one christian and he died on the cross. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

Walkie Talkie: What you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

Carpenter: 1. A guy who nails down his agreement; 2. A shelf made man. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

Where the needs of the world and your talents cross, there lies your vocation. - Aristotle

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

Knowing that you are completely forgiven destroys the power of sin in your life. - Joseph Prince

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridges to cross and which ones to burn. - David Russell

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

The orgasm has replaced the Cross as the focus of longing and the image of fulfillment. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

When you carry the cross of Jesus, you will find that the cross will wind up carrying you. - Unknown

Your successes and happiness are forgiven you only if you generously consent to share them. - Albert Camus

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

The resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless. - Joseph B Wirthlin

We proclaim the resurrection of Christ when his light illuminates the dark moments of our existence. - Pope Francis

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. - C S Lewis

It is the crucifixion that distinguishes the new message from the mythologies of all other peoples. - Martin Hengel

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone but in every leaf in springtime. - Martin Luther

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

If you don't run to the cross in your messages, your people won't run to the cross in their trials. - Bill Giovannetti

The ineffable joy of forgiving and being forgiven forms an ecstasy that might well arouse the envy of the gods. - Elbert Hubbard

Let us remind ourselves that if we are to be our Lord's disciples, we must take up his Cross and follow him. - Basil Hume

It cost God nothing, so far as we know, to create nice things: but to convert rebellious wills cost him crucifixion. - C S Lewis

Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved. - C S Lewis

It is unthinkable for a Frenchman to arrive at middle age without having syphilis and the Cross of the Legion of Honor. - Andre Gide

The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. - Robert Flatt

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself, for every man has need to be forgiven. - Thomas Fuller

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

Unless I understand the Cross, I cannot understand why my commitment to what is right must be precedence over what I prefer. - Ravi Zacharias

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or claw your way to the top. It's sure been tough on my nails. - Jack Nicholson

The Cross was the manifestation of Divine love without reserve or limit; but it was also the expression of man's unutterable malignity. - Robert Anderson

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven. - George Herbert

The Cross! There, and there only though the deist rave, and the atheist, if Earth bears so base a slave; There and there only, is the power to save. - William Cowper


Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day

Peddle Sewing Machine Sink

You Never Call

Dawntastic

Work Rules

Navy Golf Course for Aircraft Carriers

Less Severe Inflation

Hotel Annex

King Stump

Diet Carbs

Home Made Limo

Cool Reading Room