#1 humor site on the 'net

Easter Math

1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4 Given

Easter Math thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Gone but not forgiven. - Unknown

Forgotten is forgiven. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Sins cannot be undone, only forgiven. - Igor Stravinsky

Only where graves are is there resurrection. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

What is forgiven is usually well remembered. - Louis Dudek

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

It is the resurrection that makes Good Friday good. - Ravi Zacharias

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

The lesson is that you can still make mistakes and be forgiven. - Robert Downy, Jr.

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. - Dave Chappelle

In truth,there was only one christian and he died on the cross. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

The cross comes before the crown, and tomorrow is a Monday morning. - C S Lewis

Walkie Talkie: What you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

Carpenter: 1. A guy who nails down his agreement; 2. A shelf made man. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

Where the needs of the world and your talents cross, there lies your vocation. - Aristotle

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

Knowing that you are completely forgiven destroys the power of sin in your life. - Joseph Prince

Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope of a cure. - Jane Austen

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

Our old history ends with the cross; our new history begins with the resurrection. - Watchman Nee

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

We are not forgiven because we are good. We are forgiven because Christ bore our sins. - Joseph Prince

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

When you carry the cross of Jesus, you will find that the cross will wind up carrying you. - Unknown

Your successes and happiness are forgiven you only if you generously consent to share them. - Albert Camus

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

The resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless. - Joseph B Wirthlin

To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer

We proclaim the resurrection of Christ when his light illuminates the dark moments of our existence. - Pope Francis

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

It is the crucifixion that distinguishes the new message from the mythologies of all other peoples. - Martin Hengel

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone but in every leaf in springtime. - Martin Luther

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

If you don't run to the cross in your messages, your people won't run to the cross in their trials. - Bill Giovannetti

Let the resurrection joy lift us from loneliness and weakness and despair to strength and beauty and happiness. - Floyd W Tomkins

Let us remind ourselves that if we are to be our Lord's disciples, we must take up his Cross and follow him. - Basil Hume

It cost God nothing, so far as we know, to create nice things: but to convert rebellious wills cost him crucifixion. - C S Lewis

Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved. - C S Lewis

It is unthinkable for a Frenchman to arrive at middle age without having syphilis and the Cross of the Legion of Honor. - Andre Gide

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. - Steven Wright

The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. - Robert Flatt

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself, for every man has need to be forgiven. - Thomas Fuller

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or claw your way to the top. It's sure been tough on my nails. - Jack Nicholson

We do not attach any intrinsic value to the Cross; this would be sinful and idolatrous. Our veneration is referred to Him who died upon it. - James Gibbons

The Cross was the manifestation of Divine love without reserve or limit; but it was also the expression of man's unutterable malignity. - Robert Anderson

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

Many promising reconciliations have broken down because while both parties come prepared to forgive, neither party come prepared to be forgiven. - Charles Williams

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven. - George Herbert

The Cross! There, and there only though the deist rave, and the atheist, if Earth bears so base a slave; There and there only, is the power to save. - William Cowper


Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist

Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year