#1 humor site on the 'net

Dog Biscuits

If you think that dogs can't count

Dog Biscuits thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Count of Monte Crisco - Archie Bunker

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

When I count my blessings, I count you twice. - Irish Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. - French Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Anyone can run 20 miles. It's the next six that count. - Barry Magee

Don't count the things you do, do the things that count. - Zig Ziglar

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? - Stanislaw J. Lec

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

The best part of our lives we pass in counting on what is to come. - William Hazlitt

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count. - Kin Hubbard

Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. - Abraham Lincoln

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

There are three kinds of mathematicians: those who can count and those who can't. - Joe-kster

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

What counts can't always be counted; what can be counted doesn't always count. - Albert Einstein

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. - Gillian Flynn

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones. - Jean Webster

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life. - Ann Richards

By my count, more business leaders have failed and derailed because of arrogance than any other character flaw. - Harvey Mackay

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


CARnivore

Alligator Hallucinogens

Step Lover

Iron Horse Carriage

Anon-y-moose

Kids Meal

Close Today

How Pitbulls Really Fight

Grillbillies

Captain Literate

Fossilized Sid

Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

Husband Colors

Mac Supports Windows

Me First!

Latest Ukrainian Model

Chocolate Bath

Becoming A Cop

Handicap Swing

Lawn Aeration

Soup Of The Day

Black Eye

Teen Shoe

He Wants In