Dog Biscuits

Blood Count: Dracula. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Red Blood Count: Dracula - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Calculator: A product you can count on - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

When I count my blessings, I count you twice. - Irish Proverb

Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

The best part of our lives we pass in counting on what is to come. - William Hazlitt

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

If you can't sleep do not count the sheep, worship the Shepherd. - Unknown

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count. - Kin Hubbard

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. - Bill Meyer

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

By my count, more business leaders have failed and derailed because of arrogance than any other character flaw. - Harvey Mackay

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

I count him braver who conquers his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over the self. - Aristotle

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms. - Terence McKenna

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright