#1 humor site on the 'net

Cow Licks

Lapping it all in on the farm

Cow Licks thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia


Lego Anatomy

His First Hot Rod

Hair Safety

Open Air Reader

Vacation At Last

Cutting Edge Delivery

Sunset Eclipse

Diet Swing

Lamp Escape

Strong Straws

Lucky Spectator

Breadlace

I Think I'll Hold It

Instant Coffee Tragedy

Cow Camouflage

Room For Two

Neandertallica

Key-o-Saurus

Pure Maple Syrup

Dentist Drill

Wife Consumption

Dog Proctologist

Vintage Birth Control

Used Cows For Sale