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Clever Chinese

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Clever Chinese thanks to William Ng

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Reoriented: Sent back to China - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A clever man commits no minor blunders. - Goethe

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

No news is good news; no journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

When the news is scary, you should look for the helpers. - Fred Rogers

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. - Albert Einstein

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Lord Birkenhead is very clever but sometimes his brains go to his head. - Margot Asquith

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil. - C S Lewis

Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. - Charles Kuralt

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. - Will Durant

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


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