Clever Chinese

Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

A clever man commits no minor blunders. - Goethe

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

A clever person turns great troubles into little ones and little ones into none at all. - Chinese proverb

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. - Charles Kuralt

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded." - Steven Wright

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson