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Cataract Surgery Lawsuit

Susan Sues after an eye-opening Down Under operation

A West Australian newspaper recently reported that a woman, Mrs. Susan Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Cataract Surgery Lawsuit thanks to Mike King

A hospital spokesman replied, 'Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.'

QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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